Self-Medicate
by healangels
Summary: Kirsten has fallen hard since Cameron's passing and Camille the one to witness it all. When Kristen falls she may never get up as she misses someone she loves dearly.I guess were all just addicted to something that takes away the pain. CameronXKirsten KirstenXCamille


**This is a quick on shot on Kirsten's down fall as she lost cameron**

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Kirsten hasn't left Cameron apartment in weeks, ever since Cameron passed away she hasn't been the same. She wears Cameron grey sweatshirts and sits in he's bed crying. I worries about her worries hold long she's be like this. Kirsten was no longer herself. She drank all the time and almost never spoke. At first I thought this would just pass on its own but that was till the day fisher found her passed out at a bar. Each day she seems feather away. The night I found her cutting herself, killed me. Seeing Kirsten smoke, destroyed me. My roommate was left the same day we lost Cameron. No one recognized her anymore. As she fell harder, she began to self medicate. Taking pill after pill soon she was so out off it she didn't recognize anyone. I would come over each day to feed her and make sure she was still alive. And Kirsten would just look at me blankly. After two months I diced it had gone on way to long and confronted Kirsten about getting better.

 **Argument**

Kirsten is lying on the Cameron's bed wearing his sweater and having his glasses resting on the top of her head. It was very obvious she was drunk and had taken a few pills. Camille stood at the front of the bed

Camille: "Kirsten you can't keep doing this, you have to get better one day"

Kirsten: " don't your understand Camille I'm never getting better"

Camille: "Kirsten don't talk like that"

Kirsten: "He's gone Camille, I'll never get him back ever"

Camille: "Please Kirsten just hear me out"

Kirsten already fair gone

Kirsten: I was everywhere Camille I was everywhere. I want him back

Camille: "this won't get him back"

Kirsten: "I know that but it takes always the pain… it lets me take away all the progress stitching made in my emotions and I'm numb again"

Camille didn't know what to say

Kirsten: "I don't want to feel anymore cause all I feel is hurt and pain. He cared about me so much he died for me… please just give a moment"

Camille still didn't know what to say so she goes back to the kitchen to make Kristen dinner

Its been about an hour and Camille hasn't heard Kirsten at all and she starts to worry so she rushes into the bed room to see she's no where to be found so she runs into the restroom to find Kirsten lifeless with a note on the conter.

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 _Dear Camille,_

 _I'm sorry but I truly can't do this no more. No matter how numb I make myself it will never be enough. And as I tried to make myself numb I'm hurting you, I see you crying as you leave saying that you lost me… saying you miss me. Slowly I realized you were never going to get me back, I was just buying time till I go. I'm tiered of buying time and what the point in a person with_ _temporal dysplasia_ _buying something that I don't even understand. All I understand is that I'm hurting and in the strangest way it's amazing. I never thought I feel anything and now I wish I couldn't feel again. Since I'll be gone I've decide to tell you what I saw at the end of the stitch into Cameron. He meet me … he meet me before my temporal dysplasia. My mom was in the hospital in a coma and he had head his heart surgery. It was something I just couldn't believe and I just didn't want it to die with me .I loved Cameron Before you blame yourself for me killing myself know it's not your fault please don't blame your self… I loved you like a sister. I have a favor for my favorite sister. You and Linus need to live out your lives to the fault get married… have kids.. don't ..don't let me and Cameron's death stop any of that from happening. I want you to be happy that's why I'm leaving so you can be happy. I know you wanted me to get better but I can't and I wont stay here and let you suffer. I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I'm scared… Camille I'm really scared… please bury me with his sweatshirt and glasses I will mean everything to me… I can feel the pills setting in its not much longer…I love you Camille… I love Linus… I love Cameron… fuck I even love Maggie. The pills are really taking over... We're all addicted to something that takes away the pain...it just seems that my addiction will be there end of me_

 _Love,_

 _Kirsten_

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Camille broke down and cried hysterically hugging Kirsten's lifeless body. She starts getting desperate shaking her yelling, "Kirsten! Kirsten! Kirsten please wake up!". Kirsten still does not respond and Camille shakes her more aggressively, "No don't do this to me Kirsten! please Kirsten wake up! Kirsten don't please!". She shakes her more and more aggressively. "Kirsten!", she yells as she cries over Kirsten holding her tight. She hugs her crying hysterically; coming to the realization at she was gone for good. Kirsten Clark is dead.

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 **Hope you enjoyed it please give your options and thoughts i love to hear**

 **BTW im not sure if by now i will have done this but I'm changing my name one fan fiction to waitting4superman from the is cause i have changed my name on Instagram, Tumblr and wattpad for personal** **reasons. so iff u like another way to contact me you can through those under waitting4superman and my twitter is angelstorm03**


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